Nobody's Listening Podcast Wiki - Recently Updated Pages

Nobody's Listening Podcast

nlcast — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 10:24:44 CDT

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This is a place for fans of Nobody's Listening Podcast that anyone can edit. What will this become? It's up to you!

Nobody's Listening is a podcast started by two brothers, James and David Kennison. Their goal was to share stories from their crazy childhood and invite others with funny stories to do the same. The brothers recorded a pilot episode in late December 2006 but released their first episode (Episode 001 - Hallelujah) on December 28, 2006.

Nobody's Listening had a huge boost of listeners right away thanks to promos played and references made to the show by the hosts of The Weekly Murloc. The show was listed in iTunes under New & Notable for several weeks and was featured on iTunes store front page in the What's Hot category for a time. Nobody's Listening has been listed as a featured comedy podcast in iTunes since it's 5th episode.

The show suffered a setback in June of 2007 when co-host David moved to Ireland to raise his newborn daughter. Sibling Aimee filled in for a few weeks but was unable to continue due to family commitments. After a couple of (much hated) solo-casts (also known as MIA episodes) James began inviting a series of guest-hosts, professional podcasters, friends and regular listeners. Its struggles over, Nobody's Listening continues to be a family friendly clean comedy podcast enjoyed by adults, teens and pre-teens alike.

In September of 2007, David left the show for personal reasons. Regular guest-host and contributor, Trevor, was asked to join the show.

Gospel of Kennison

nlcast — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 21:11:34 CDT

The Gospel of Kennison - The GOK, as it's called, is the official truth according to the hosts of the show. Pretty much anything that James comes up with, no matter how 'off' it may sound, is the Gospel if he says it is.

Examples of the GOK:

"You've got to lie like the Devil lies. Start with the truth and wrap the lie around it." (James Episode 2)
"If you listen, verily, to Nobody's Listening, you will shave two minutes off your 5k." (James Episode ??)
Someone's life is forever changed in a good way. (ex. Charlie in Episode 73)
"Your Step-Dad is there for your Mom... not you." (James in Episode 74)
Don't ever assume that a woman is pregnant (James in Episode 6 and Episode 82)
Don't hack into some girl's computer and expect her to call you back. (James in Episode 86)
If you really want to be different, wear striped pants all the time, a beanie hat with a propeller on it, and don't have any friends. You can also have a Civil War re-enactment any time you want, especially in the racquetball court of any local YMCA. (James in Episode 93)
You have to watch The Office. (James in Episode 94)
James: "Do not name your kid 'Christian'." (Episode 97)
The serpent was actually a goose. (James in Episode 97)
Nobody's Listening will help you improve your math skills. (James in Episode 100)
Don't stand up to anyone; they might kill you. (Suggested by Trevor, agreed upon by James in Episode 100)
Real swing sets catch air when you swing on them. (James in Episode 101)
Write a Christian rap song that stretches the limits of rhyme itself. (James & John in Episode 103)
You can use pen and paper caricatures to steal people's immortal souls. (James in Episode 106)
If you eat Sugar Smacks, you're going to smell them again later. (James in Episode 107)
The Gospel of Kennison is like a virtual back rub. (James in Episode 107)
Children should not be spanked on Christmas day. (James in Episode 115)

The GOK has also been referred to as the act of sharing Nobody's Listening with family and friends. It is said that the GOK is being spread when someone (1) shares NLCast with a friend or family member, (2) makes a joke from the show to someone in real life, (3) brandishes a bumper sticker or (4) tags the website's url in a public place.

Coconut hooked her friend on Nobody's Listening while explaining podcasts to her. (Episode 73)
Melody has grown to love the show after her husband recommended it. (Episode 108)

The GOK is also now the name of NLCast producer James Kennison's audio journal. GOK: The Gospel of Kennison http://www.nlcast.com/gok

Friends of the Show

Jasper_S — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 08:08:25 CDT

Chicken Pop Pod - Pop culture from the 80's and today.

Extralife Radio - ELR host Scott Johnson has been refered to as James' podcast mentor. Scott's willingness to guest-host and his subsequent mention on his website and show helped pull Nobody's Listening out of the slump it was in after David left for Ireland.

Hardcore Christian Gamer - Not just a great podcast, a great community.

Jawbone Radio - Host Len Peralta joined us on Episode 044. He does an awesome couple's cast with his wife.

JDAZE Podcast - A great show featuring crazy life stories.

Love Long & Prosper - One of the first podcasts to voluntarily play NLCast promos.

News Cast Live (formerly Mike Thinks News) - Thanks for playing our promo! Mike has also sent in his own stories to the show.

Girls Night In Radio (formerly Girls Night in Podcast) - Rachel guest-hosted Episode 053!

Podhammer - Jeff from Australia has been a long time listener. He claimes that we helped him get started in podcasting and he was in Episode 046 - Auzzie Jeff.

Sims2Challenges Podcast - Our friend Racheal does this show for fans of Sims 2. Racheal also helped us with our NLCast T-shirts!

Rotten Fruit Cakes - A podcast done by two siblings who do a show like Nobody's Listening. They were mentioned in episode 67 or 68.

The Weekly Murloc (R.I.P)- Micheal helped James out with the basics of how to put a podcast on the internet. TWM also helped NLCast start strong with lots of mentions and promo plays. They were also kind enough to play James' segment called "The World of Warcrap".

We're Both Right (R.I.P) - Erik and Rob are great guys with a great show. They were selected as an iTunes Editors Top 100 New Podcasts of 2007. They were in Episode 040 - Ebeg

Girls Night In Podcast (R.I.P) - Kim and Rachel guest-hosted Episode 053!

Episode Guide

archive1 — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 14:53:48 CDT

The List:

2006
The Prequel Era
000 - Pilot (Unreleased till March 8th, 2007)
001 - Hallelujah

2007
002 - Cellphone Flashlight
003 - The Basement Ghostman
004 - Waterproof Boots
005 - The Torture Chamber
006 - The Pot
007 - Monkey Man
008 - The Phone Line
009 - Killer Salsa
010 - We Hate Aimee
011 - The Pilot (pre-recorded)
012 - Puke from Heaven (Theme Show)
013 - Auger Man
014 - Ugly Becky
015 - The Boys
016 - Bikes (Theme Show)
017 - MIA Special Edition
018 - Listener Input Show
019 - Air Supply
020 - The Embarassing Show (Theme Show)
021 - The Book
022 - The Sister Show (pre-recorded on 3/30/07)
023 - The Free Cow
024 - Van Bogging

Aimee Adventures
025 - The Monster Room
026 - Blue Butter
027 - The Purple Dress
028 - When Animals Attack (Theme Show)
029 - MIA Special Edition II
030 - The Electrocution
031 - Switchboard Suzy
032 - MIA Special Edition III

Guest host Dark Age
033 - Trevor's Tooltime
034 - The Perfect Wii
035 - Secret Sobriety
036 - Bianca Mace
037 - Israel Underground
038 - Disney Drama
039 - Fear Factor
040 - eBeg
041 - Halloween Show (Theme Show)
042 - Shooting and Stabbing
043 - Hatchet Man
044 - Len Wind
045 - Mack Attack
046 - Auzzie Jeff
047 - Spider Senseless
048 - Loose Mousse
049 - The Best Christmas Ever

2008
050 - The Finger Lie
051 - Chicken Tree
052 - Aww Baby!
053 - Insults and Injury

New Age, Age of Hope (David Returns)
054 - The WOW Attack
055 - San Quentin
056 - Dracula
057 - The Dial Program (Featured Story pre-recorded)
058 - The Lock Scammer
059 - The 74 Lincoln
060 - The Real McCoy
061 - The Training Video (Featured Story pre-recorded)
062 - Computer Show (Theme Show)
063 - The Barbie Song
064 - The Love Note
065 - God's Intercom
066 - The Seizing Sumo
067 - The Death of JoJo
067.5 - Open Phone Lines
068 - The Salty Toe
069 - The Rocks
070 - Two Year Heist
071 - The Tongue Piercing
072 - The Crossover Show
073 - Artie the Aardvark
074 - Big Red
075 - The Berserker
076 - You're In Sample
077 - The Callback
078 - The Best Birthday Ever
079 - Disney Drama II

Back to the Guests
080 - The Rodent Show (Theme Show)
081 - Opossum Butt (Live Call-in Show)
082 - Hair Grease
083 - Rattface Returns
084 - The President's Hole (Theme Show)
085 - The Tail Sheath

The Trevor Era
086 - Chrome Toilet Brush
087 - The White Wolf
088 - The Ink Drink
089 - She-Mullet
090 - The Christmas Surprise
091 - Tough Shed

2009
092 - Elementary Horror
093 - The Auger Owner
094 - The Black Jet
095 - Middle School Drama
096 - Shawn Abuse
097 - Wenus to the Jaw
098 - The Deep Country
099 - Rock-n-Roll Granny
100 - The One I Won
101 - The Giant Meatball
102 - Tickey The Ratmouse
103 - A Mighty Wind
104 - The Recap Show
105 - Recap 2: Inside Jokes

John Joins
106 - Elevator Action
107 - Wookie Cushion
108 - Pyro Boy
109 - Back Fire
110 - The Flaming Marshmallow
111 - The Item of Ill Intention
112 - Deer Deer
113 - Pollyanna Is Hot
114 - Man Wife
115 - Kilt Guilt

108 - Pyro Boy

archive1 — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 14:53:14 CDT

Date Released:
May 26th, 2009

Host(s):
James, Trevor, & John

Opening Stinger:
Evan calls in to say hello.

Opening Story:
Jackie went on a camping trip. Another girl was sleep talking and punching people.

Weekly Update(s):
James encountered some rude drivers on the highway. He decided to be annoying.

Trevor's television was playing closed captions out of sync. There were also annoying commercials.

John's four-year-old kid was brushing his teeth with a toilet.

LBB:
James is annoyed by the kids who are ding-dong-ditching his house.

John (a listener) nominates himself as the LBB for taking the handicap stall in the bathroom.

Heather nominates tailgaters.

News:
Visit CleanCasts.com to find clean podcasts.

The site has officially moved to NLCast.com.

Middle School Drama:
Amber was heading to the place for a field trip. A kid was asking for the money. She has tall friends.

Cody is catching up on the episodes. His mother no longer listens to the show. He suggests school bullies as an LBB.

Featured Story:
Johns delivers on his promise and tells the adventures of a boy that loved fire.

E & V-Mail:
Gary from Palm Harbor works in a repair shop. He accidentally offended the cleaning lady by commenting about the garbage.

Laurel tells the story of Ivan, the long-lost brother.

Wesley from Ohio has a nephew who bites his sister.

John (the host) saw a red van, just like the one from James's old stories. He called the show.

GambitKid has a story about DisneyLand and asking people for pins.

Chris (theProfessor) calls in about tills. He also decided to quote the podcast.

Jason from Pennsylvania calls in with the grossest story in the show's history.

Melody from Illinois has grown to love the show after her husband recommended it. She has a story about her about misunderstanding him.

Memorable Moments:
John: "Well, I like to move it move it, what can I say?"

Trevor: "I like puppies! Sorry."

James: "I always throw my Pringles in the toilet."

John: "Speaking of flamethrowers, though..."

107 - Wookie Cushion

archive1 — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 14:48:57 CDT

Date Released:
May 18th, 2009

Host(s):
James, Trevor, & John

Opening Stinger:
Steven says that the podcast rocks.

Opening Story:
Kaitlyn (aka FlutistFriend) accidentally puts some things in the trash.

Weekly Update(s):
James had a root canal two weeks ago.

Trevor made a fool of himself at McDonald's.

John's wife is pregnant. His four-year-old son follows directions well. He also broke the silence at work while a guest was in the room.

LBB:
Trevor nominates the guy who was bashing a noob in an online racing simulator.

James suggests ninja biker guys.

A listener has a story about lazy fast food workers.

News:
Check out CleanCasts.com, a clean comedy podcast directory.

NLCast is featured on the iTunes store front page.

Middle School Drama:
A listener fences. He also went to Best Buy, and tried to call the show.

Peter has some funny stories to tell. He went to the zoo, and a gift shop.

Featured Story:
none

E & V-Mail:
Alec (SOGtheman818?) has two stories about being lucky, one about paintball and one about biking.

Icee recently started nannying, and is also 18 weeks pregnant. An almost five-year-old happens to be Dr. Buzz Lightyear, and promised to help deliver the baby.

Kimball from Arizona thanks the show for relieving his stress.

Jeremiah from Utah writes in about making tires flat.

A listener was sick one day. His brother fled from a very small dog.

A listener's friend went to buy a new guitar.

MotherUnit was in a bathroom. A small child wanted to leave, but then congratulated his mother.

Austin's teacher told him a funny story about a man who was cleaning his motorcycle. It all went downhill from there.

Mike (aka KickofMercy) requests the director's cut of the Monkey Man story. James tells him that there isn't one.

Stacy likes the new guy on the podcast.

Sam's mom was attacked by a fluffy bee, and then a cyclist.

Shida tells the show about the time she almost crashed her mom's car.

Audrey(sp?) (aka mobd?) has a message for Trevor about iCarly.

Thomas is headed to the National Spelling Bee.

A caller tells a story about playing tag.

Lucius tells the story about his fifteenth summer, and being a baseball freak.

Memorable Moments:
James: "We say 'on accident' like normal people who love freedom."

John: "So does asparagus, but we don't talk about that."

James: "A till sounds like something they process cows through...I'm just sayin..."

John: "You know what his tag line is? 'To maternity, an BEYOND!'."

Trevor: "I would be thrilled to find the person that would wear a Windows shirt, and then beat the crap out of them."

John: "I've been to the Caribbean, and they do have mango trees."
Trevor: "I've been to Cuba. They have lizards."
James: "I've been to the bathroom. They have business."

106 - Elevator Action

archive1 — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 14:43:51 CDT

Date Released:
April 27th, 2009

Host(s):
James, Trevor, & John

Opening Stinger:
Limp Bizket and others have news for you.

Opening Story:
BlazerBoy from LONDON walked into the street to find something to do. A dinosaur tried to eat his brother.

Weekly Update(s):
James hurt his nose with his wedding ring. He has another story about his bat shirt.

Trevor had a voice in the back of his head that told him to buy games.

John's mom didn't recognize him at church.

LBB:
People who have a little job that they take way too seriously.

News:
Watch the show live on Ustream.

Check out the new and improved NLCast.com.

Visit CleanCasts.com for a clean podcast directory.

Middle School Drama:
A listener had to take the ACT, and was reminded not to chew tobacco.

Meredith was really tired. Her hamster escaped.

Jackie from Nebraska couldn't open her locker, so she broke in.

Featured Story:
Trevor heads back to his high school days, where he and his friends acquire the key to the school elevator. James and John both go crazy, creating the best unintentionally funny story of all time.

E & V-Mail:
Katie heard a great "your momma" joke.

TJ enjoyed the recap show.

Laura Anne mentions the actual Tough Shed brand.

A listener wanted to know that if James's mom ever listened to the podcast.

"James's mother" calls in asking for an apology.

Rachel calls in with a rodent story.

Aman200balla was going to a party when he was ten years old. There was a poor attempt to TP a house.

Manya from the deep South wants advice on how to live through school.

Connie from Ohio (aka Conzo) called just after she left the dentist's office.

Jeff Ronie played a joke on one of his teachers in Junior High and confessed under pressure.

Memorable Moments:
James:"...deep in Canada's pants."

Trevor: "I just did a physical spit-take when you said that."

John: "Thanks for having me on board. I can't tell you what an honor it is."
James: "That's 'cause it's not."

John: "I left her some guano."

John: "My fake life is so much more interesting."

Guest-Hosts

Jasper_S — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:45:08 CDT

Anthony - James' brother-in-law. Amiee's husband. He's in Episode 049 - The Best Christmas Ever

Caleb aka TheRealMcCoy - Regular caller and forum favorite. 060 - The Real McCoy

Christopher - Host of Chicken Pop Pod, a great pop culture podcast. Episode 085 - The Tail Sheath

Dave White - Friend, Best Man and Children's Ministry Monthly Co-host. Episode 043 - The Hatchet Man

Drew - of Hardcore Christian Gamer Cast. Episode 048 - Loose Mousse

Eric & Rob - Of the We're Both Right (RIP) podcast. Episode 040 - eBeg

Graece - Co-host of All Things Azeroth, a World of Warcraft Podcast. She appeared on Episode 084 - The President's Hole

Jeff - of Podhammer.net. Episode 046 - Auzzie Jeff

Jennifer Kennison - Jenn is James' wife and co-host of Geek Loves Nerd. She appeared on NLCast Episode 041 - The Halloween Show, Episode 072 - The Crossover Show, Episode 079 - Disney Drama II

Joey Day - Host of JDAZE Podcast. Episode 082 - Hair Grease

Josh & Dago - Friends of Rockstar Paul from the band Secret Sobriety. Episode 035 - Secret Sobriety

Kevin Brown - Formerly of rap group Royal Priesthood. Episode 037 - Israel Underground

Lauren - Stickam Superfan and Moderator. Episode 045 - Mack Attack

Lee Ann - James' oldest sister. Episode 022 - The Sister Show

Len Peralta - of Jawbone Radio. Episode 044 - Len Wind

Menuet - [Former host] of The X Podcast. Episode 039 - Fear Factor

Michael "Murloc" Masek - Former host of The Weekly Murloc (RIP). 054 - The WOW Attack

Nick Godbout (a.k.a. Killer Salsa Kid, a.k.a. Crybaby Nick) - Rockstar Paul's little brother, Kevin Brown's brother-in-law, and David Godbout's son. Episode 063 - The Barbie Song

Paul Godbout (a.k.a. Rockstar Paul) - From the band Secret Sobriety. Episode 009 - Killer Salsa

Rachel and Kim - [Formerly Of] Girls Night in Podcast; Rachel is the Host of The Sims 2 Challenges Podcast and a Co-Host of Girls Night in Radio. Episode 053 - Insults and Injury

Scott Johnson - From Extralife Radio. Episode 034 - The Perfect Wii

Tom (aka treusch, aka T-roo) Just some guy from the forums. Episode 036 - Binaca Mace, Episode 047 - Spider Senseless

Trevor (aka Rattface, aka T-rev) - A Canadian guy. Episode 033 - Trevor's Tooltime, Episode 038 - Disney Drama

002 - The Cellphone Flashlight

archive1 — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 00:00:34 CDT

Date Released:
January 3rd, 2007

Host(s):
James & David

Opening Stinger:
none

Weekly Update(s):
David is reading The Chronicles of Narnia and thinks they are great.

James learned some interesting "historical" facts off of the back of a Burger King crown. He also gets "honked".

Featured Story:
James tries to scare David while David is navigating the dark house with his cell phone. David thinks James is a ninja who broke into the house to kill him.

The hosts add a story about a demon-possessed smoke detector.

News:
At least 18 people are listening to the podcast.

E & V-Mail:
There is a web comment from Dave in Georgia, who said he listened to and loved the show.

Rachel and Gabby call in to say that they love the show, and they don't like JoJo.

Sam from Phoenix calls in to the "David and James Show." She requests alligator stories, which James and David provide.

Recap Song:
The Chronicles of Narnia. David had reading problems. The podcast is renamed. James almost cried, and then he took a shower. The crown was as reliable as Reader's Digest, but then it wasn't. The demon lived in the smoke detector. ...and that's how a heart attack happens. American pie.

Memorable Moments:
David: "Historical facts, on the back of a Burger King cardboard crown?"

James: "ooooaaaahhAHAAAAAAAAUUUHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

David: "A ninja-man just broke into our house and is about to kill me with a cell phone in my hand."

James: "If you're gonna die, do so quietly."

David: "One man.."
James: "Next week..."
David: "One..smoke detector."

David: "Broke ya!"

The first NLCast contest ever is announced.

104 - The Recap Show

archive1 — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 23:53:52 CDT

Date Released:
April 12th, 2009

Host(s):
James

Opening Stinger:
Mike sent in a "News for You" mash-up.

[note: This show is a recap created from the content of previous episodes. It is designed as an introduction to the podcast, and so does not follow the regular format.]

Feature:
(Episode 1)
Weekly Update
James kicked a one-legged friend in his real leg instead of his prosthetic limb.

Featured Story
James once told David about a pastor who said "Hallelujah" in a funny way. While they are fixing up a bathroom, James begins to sing. David laughs, and the pest control guy is weirded out.

(Episode 2)
Featured Story
James tries to scare David while David is navigating the dark house with his cell phone. David thinks James is a ninja who broke into his house to kill him.

(Episode 3)
Featured Story
The hosts tell about how James told a story and scared a group of teenage boys who were spending the night in his basement. James takes the story to camp as well, and also brings along the tale of the demon-possessed smoke detector.
----

James talks about the time that David first sang for the Recap Song.

(Episode 5)
Featured Story
James tells the story of the tire swing and the spinning barrel of doom that was inflicted upon David and John when they were little children.

Recap Song
David doesn't even have a lawn to mow. He has a groggy voice. James does everything so big, dawg. David sucked his thumb until he was 15. He could have thrown up his innards on the swing. Thanks to the Weekly Murloc people from WoW from the land of Azeroth. Go to the forums, don't ignore'um.

(Episode 8)
Featured Story
David is banned from using the phone because he didn't feed his Mom's birds and many of them died. He runs his own phone line under the house by drilling a hole up through his floor.

E & V-mail:
Logan sent in a mash-up of Episode 103.

Someone posing as the devil calls in about Episode 70.

Brent from New Hampshire has an egg story that has an amazing context.

Monya from New Orleans was on her first date ever.

A listener beat-boxes his way through a voice mail.

Jeff Roney from California was watching an Easter production at his church.

A listener says "I have news for you" in Norwegian.

105 - Recap 2: Inside Jokes

archive1 — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 23:52:47 CDT

Date Released:
April 20th, 2009

Host(s):
James

Opening Stinger:
Bigo(sp?) sent in a rap song about the show, but he failed at rapping, and was sad.

[note: This show is a recap created from the content of previous episodes. It is designed as an introduction to the podcast, and so does not follow the regular format.]

Feature:
James provides some background to the inside jokes of the show:

"Puke from Heaven" (Episode 12)

James was dating a girl from David's home town, and David had no idea.

"If you could ever just get past that... there would be no limits." (Episode 14)

The use of 'Lucy' as a substitute name. (Episode 6)

"I have news for you!" (Episode 38)

LBB (Episode 54)

"Let's just say..." (Episode 27)

A professor proposed that God is a vampire. (Episode 56)

Recap songs (i.e. Episode 21)

"Broke Ya!" (Episode 2)

E & V-Mail:
TheRealMcCoy almost fainted after listening to Episode 102. He had a pet mouse that could climb up walls. He calls in again with a story about a counselor that appeared to be swearing.

Miss Yujin was watching a story about people who died in gross ways.

Inside Jokes

archive1 — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 23:45:23 CDT

Broke ya! - Something David randomly said in Episode 2 - The Cellphone Flashlight. There have been many who have asked what this phrase means. Its meaning is best explained by the context in which you would say it. When you say something that blows someone's mind, confuses them or causes them to become speechless, that's when you yell, "Broke Ya!".

Canada's Pants - America is Canada's Pants. This was decided on the Nobody's Posting Forums after James referenced a shirt he'd seen online that claimed that Canada was "America's Hat" in Episode 038 - Disney Drama.

Crizzle - A word meaning 'crap'. Though this word wasn't created by James, he is credited for redefining it. The definition has also been added to The Urban Dictionary.

Fullet - Coined by David during Episode 013 - Auger Man when referencing a long-haired man who was hip-hop dancing at a Best Buy. A Fullet is (to quote David), "Long hair like a mullet but it's not really a mullet because he hasn't got it cut in a while.. It's like a fullet.. It's a full head of hair that looks like a mullet".

I have news for you! - Quoted from a Norwegian Disney employee by James during Episode 038 - Disney Drama who was interrupting him as he tried to get into the park by providing information from his credit card as he left his ticket at his hotel. He called eventually placed her in a mythological country called Norwegia. Recently it has been discovered that Norwegia is Norway in German. When James read this e-mail, he replied, "It was supposed to be a mythical place!! Dangit, I'm still dissing Norway." The Disney employee has come to be called Norwegia Lady.

Lucy - A name for someone, typically female, that you want to keep anonymous in your stories read on Nobody's Listening. David first used this name in a story in Episode 006 - The Pot. James then repeated the name in his next story. Listeners then began to use Lucy to keep their friends protected from stalkers.

Lucifer - A name for someone, typically male, that you want to keep anonymous in your stories that are read on Nobody's Listening.

Norwegia - A pretend country James created. The Disney employee known as Norwegia Lady is from there. Mentioned first in Episode 038 - Disney Drama.

Stalkers or Stalkerz - This is typically said on the show anytime someone gives out information that someone could use to find them in real life. Early in the show James and David were both worried about giving out too much about themselves. Over time more and more would slip out and the stalkers were mentioned. Listeners now reference stalkers in the forums, in their calls and emailed stories.

Get out of my face! - A joke made by Jenna when she was testing out "no".

I'll draw you a picture. - James has offered to draw people pictures with the purpose of trying to reward or bribe folks to do things, answer questions or provide facts. Since the show is poor and can't provide real prizes, he started offering to draw pictures for folks. Typically used like this: "If you can tell me what movie that was from... I'll draw you a picture!" More recently the phrase was used as the primary motivation for James' art site: drawyouapicture.com

Let's just say... - A way to tell stories very quickly. It was made by a listener in a voice mail about a camp experience in Episode 027 - The Purple Dress

LBB (Living Breathing Butthead) - A joke made by James in Episode 038 - Disney Drama. An LBB is someone who embodies the very essence of being a butt. Now there is an LBB of the Week segment as part of the show.

The Gospel of Kennison (GoK) - The Gospel of Kennison is spread by listeners of Nobody's Listening. It is said that the GOK is being spread when someone (1) shares NLCast with a friend or family member, (2) makes a joke from the show to someone in real life, (3) brandishes a bumper sticker or (4) tags the website's url in a public place.

001 - Hallelujah

archive1 — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 22:44:07 CDT

Date Released:
December 28th, 2006

Host(s):
James & David

Opening Stinger:
None. David just plays Yellow Ledbetter, which would eventually become the outtro.

Weekly Update(s):
David is looking for a job. He feels like he's a bum because he's not making money.

James kicked a one-legged friend in his real leg instead of his prosthetic limb.

Featured Story:
James once told David about a pastor who said "Hallelujah" in a funny way. While they are fixing up a bathroom, James begins to sing. David laughs, and the pest control guy is freaked out.

James added a story about when he tore holes in his basement wall. David talked about when he found a BB gun.

News:
none

E & V-Mail:
JoJo the Christian clown calls in to say he is offended by the podcast, particularly David.

Recap Song:
James was just trying to introduce his one-legged friend. James hasn't seen him since. David thinks James was stupid. Fake legs cost a lot of money. James sings about singing "halle-lu-jah". David and James think that JoJo needs to get a life.

Memorable Moments:
David: "But you've just gotta swing with the branches."

David: "Nothing in the basement. Nothing at all!"

James: "Beams of evil hate would have streamed from her eyes and burned my skull."
David: "Definitely, definitely."

James: "That's not very dark."
David: "That's not dark? That the E-minor, that's the darkest chord in the world!"

James burps and David kicks the desk.

014 - Ugly Becky

archive1 — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 20:40:51 CDT

Date Released: March 28th, 2007

Host(s): James & David

Opening Stinger:
David openes the show trying to say that it's the David and James show, but ends up saying James and David show. James thanks him. David screams, "Dang it!"

Weekly Update(s):
James - James' house is listed for sale online as if Yoda wrote the copy. "In this lovely neighborhood, a lovely house there is. Do not pass it!" James and his family tour a home that felt weird and had a weird basement. Turns out that a teenager and a step-dad had killed themselves in the house.
David - David reports about a raise he got at work that he actually wasn't supposed to tell anyone about.

Featured Story:
David shares a story of a girl he met online and began to date online. When he met her at a church for the first time, she had misrepresented herself and was a little more man-like than David had been led to believe. Johnathan, David and James' brother, emailed the girl by hacking David's email and took mercy on her by breaking up with her for him.
James added a story about a large, sloppy drunk redneck girl that was giving him the eye at a friend's house back in his single days.

News:
No News! Woot
In the recap song James mentions that they're aren't mentioned in What's Hot in iTunes any longer.

E & V-Mail:

Voicemail:
Nick (Salsa Boy) called in reporting that he's listened to every episode. He said he loved hearing us tell the story of the salsa (Episode ??) and the basement ghost man (Episode 003 - The Basement Ghost Man).
Rev12, of The Combobulator, called from the UK making fun of James' attempt at a British accent. He thanked the show for playing his show's promo.

Recap Song:
James sings about touring a demon possessed house and the darkness to a bright and happy tune. "It was a happy, happy day!" David sings about his raise at work. James sings about a demon that followed them from the basement. Then we hear a bit from the demon himself. James sings and speaks about the benefits of meeting someone in person over how they represent themselves in an online profile. James sings a piece of news he forgot to mention.

Memorable Moments:
"I felt like I was nekkid every time she looked at me."

James: "If you could ever just get past that... there would be no limits."

James: "I was at weight watchers last year. There was some fine women in there! If my wife ever dies I'm coming in here. We're going to lose weight together! And when we do we will get married.... When you hit lifetime, we will get married!"

005 - The Torture Chamber

archive1 — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:39:56 CDT

Date Released:
January 24th, 2007

Host(s):
James & David

Opening Stinger:
David saying "Broke Ya!"

Weekly Update(s):
James and Jenna took a nap. Then Jenna ditched her diaper. James also farted in his office.

Nothing happened to David this week.

Featured Story:
James tells the story of the tire swing and the spinning barrel of doom that was inflicted upon David and John when they were little children.

James and David laugh themselves to tears.

News:
Check out the Frappr fan map.
The site now has forums.
Call the show on the Nobody Line or send in an email.

E & V-Mail:
John, a friend of James, sent in a story about a youth group trip and kids trying to be cool.

Nathan thinks the podcast is great and offers an interview.

John (brother of David and James) accuses the podcast of slandering him, but thinks the show was great.

Dave from Georgia offers some advice to Vance.

Recap Song:
David doesn't even have a lawn to mow. He has a groggy voice. James does everything so big, dawg. David sucked his thumb until he was 15. He could have thrown up his innards on the swing. Thanks to the Weekly Murloc people from WoW from the land of Azeroth. Go to the forums, don't ignore'um.

Memorable Moments:
James: "Well, I'm glad I could help, but NEVER AGAIN!"

James: "I hope you aren't driving, y'all, 'cause you all just ran off the road and killed your own selves."

David: "My lungs were in my butt cheeks. Every time I sat down, I was out of breath."

James: "Your inner child is still dizzy, isn't it, David?"

James: "Why do we get along? Why do you talk to me?"

James: "I know you're married. I know you have children. They've just forgotten who you are, because now you're a level 49 Tauren hunter named 'Clydesdale'."

103 - A Mighty Wind

archive1 — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 21:15:53 CDT

Date Released:
April 6th, 2009

Host(s):
James, Trevor, and John

Opening Stinger:
"Nobody's Listening!"
"YES THEY ARE!!"

Opening Story:
Matthew (aka Nerd) was almost killed by a high-speed banana.

Fred was testing a water balloon launcher and ended up launching a kid.

Weekly Update(s):
James received gratuitous quantities of hate mail as a result of last week's show. He has convinced his wife to play the Xbox. She doesn't care about unicorns. He silenced Tickey with duct tape.

Trevor was supposed to be flying out, but isn't, so he's here. His bachelor friend left the toilet seat up.

John got a free, used iPod so he could listen to the show.

LBB:
Chris the Professor has a story about pulling a prank on someone and failing.

News:
Check out the "Grocery Store Greatness" comic (feat. story by Action Dan) at NLCast.com.

The show is now recording live every week at 9:30pm Central.

CleanCasts.com launches this week. It is a directory of clean audio and video podcasts.

Middle School Drama:
ComedyRotten, who shall now be referred to as "Tigger English Muffin", also gave a code name to someone else.

Featured Story:
John was at his church on a Sunday night. He let loose a mighty wind.

E & V-Mail:
Lucas asks James a hard question about having to cancel a podcast.

Sheri began to laugh uncontrollably at work.

Paul is a fanatical martial artist who teaches kids.

Kathleen had to evacuate to Minnesota to escape some flooding. She had been wearing two different sneakers.

Daniel B. sent in a mash-up for the show.

Memorable Moments:
James: "How are you doing today, Trevor?"
Trevor: "I..don't...know."
James: "Are there any zombies on your lawn, my friend?"

John: "Where'd you get that? Did you record that from my house? How'd you do that?"

John: "Is this a 'love triangle' or a 'love rhombus', 'cause I'm confused."
James: "I don't know, I think it's a 'love Rubick's cube."

Trevor: "You got 'em again. He was about to say something - totally cut him off. It feels so good for you to do something like that to somebody that's not me."

Trevor: "So you're choosing your wife over me?"
James: "You should actually be pretty happy about that."

James: "Fliddle Fladdle McGee Sputnik! Put that in your remix!"

James reads a rap song he and John were going to perform many years ago.

John: "Oh no! I'm starting to remember this!"

079 - Disney Drama II

archive1 — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 19:45:18 CDT

Date Released:
September 16th, 2008

Host(s):
James & Jennifer Kennison

Opening Stinger:
belching

Opening Story:
Les (aka historykid) rode the Thunder Mountain roller coaster with his daughter. They are
both eventually terrified.

Weekly Update(s):
The Kennisons went to a new restaurant. Jenna tries to walk while still attached to a booster seat.

James and Jenna watched Star Wars on the plane. She calls Darth Vader "elevator".

Jenna also dressed her younger brother as a ninja, aka "beatup".

LBB:
The redneck with the camera, anyone that is inconsistent in their rules, and the mother of the inappropriately-dressed young girl in the swimming pool

News:
All of the podcast feeds are back online.

James thanks everyone for their continuing support of the "Save the Dave" fund.

Josh sends in an email and asks for everyone to pray for his friend, who is trying to quit smoking.

Middle School Drama:
Zach works for tech support at a school. He was aggravated by a stupid question from a teacher.

Featured Story:
James and Jennifer talk about their trip to Disneyworld.
The essence of the Norwegia lady works at the Magical Express.
Jenna was a little late to figure out that they were going to Disneyworld.
James met an outgoing "lowtalker". Jenna kissed her dinner plate and an iPod.
They met a man without deodorant who was dissing America.
The most unused phrase at Disney is "excuse me."
There is no special cheesecake bar.
Disney is like pancakes.

E & V-Mail:
A listener went on the submarine ride at Disneyland.

Holly is a new listener to the podcast.

Steven had a skunk that lived in his neighborhood. The skunk was killed by a wax candle ball.

Frank listened to the first Disney Drama episode. His family fell to the power of Stacy on the internal television network.

Daryl writes in with some facts about Disneyland.

Toni from Washington loves the podcast and listens to it on her commute.

Kim was at Animal Kingdom and was stuck in a line without her family.

Fred from Long Island talks about resorts and transportation at Disney.

ConcertPianist16 listened to High School Musical music and waved his hands up in the air.

Connie from Ohio calls in to clarify a previous voice mail.

Memorable Moments:
James: "Apparently E.T. lives in the cabinet."

Jennifer: "I could leave any time, and then you'd just be podcasting by yourself."

Jennifer: "Is that why you were watching it?"
James: "No! I was doing it for the cultural differences."

James: "Is that wrong to even mention?"
Jennifer: "I think so."

James: "These guys are the reasons Pop-Tarts have directions on the box."

James saw some goth kids take a picture with Piglet.

102 - Tickey The Ratmouse

archive1 — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 19:36:39 CDT

Date Released:
March 31st, 2009

Host(s):
James & Trevor

Opening Stinger:
Kermit the Frog introduces the show.

Opening Story:
Molly had a terrible misunderstanding in Mexico.

Weekly Update(s):
Trevor's younger daughter kicked him in the face. He also realized that he thoroughly enjoyed a children's television show.

James is taking a second job as a graphic designer. As a result, this will be the last episode of Nobody's Listening.

LBB:
James self-appoints himself as LBB, forever. [see weekly update]

Connor nominates people that fight over parking spots.

News:
Tomorrow is April Fools. Apply this to James's weekly update.

Check out the web comics at NLCast.com and GeekLovesNerd.com.

James is working on a secret podcast project.

Middle School Drama:
Jackie from Nebraska wanted to make some popcorn. The popcorn was cooked for too long.

Nathan was on the phone with his girlfriend.

Featured Story:
James was sleeping in the basement. A certain sound began to annoy him, and he embarked on a quest to track it down.

E & V-Mail:
Julian from Canada calls in with a story about a a friend who had a pile of dead leaves and a can of gasoline.

Adam went to shovel some snow. The roof had other plans.

Vanessa's son loved Spiderman.

Shannon's son also saw "Bubblefat" while playing Lego Star Wars.

"Drunk Paul" isn't sure what day it is. He's been selling some stuff, but the dead rat is gone.

Rob from Dallas had several swing set misadventures when he was young.

[username unintelligible] asks why James started the podcast.

Sarah was at camp. People came into the bathroom. She was afraid.

Misyujin(sp?) from California has a story about someone trying to learn how to speak.

Memorable Moments:
James: "April Fools, peoples! I can't do it! I don't want to get in trouble; I don't want the hate mail! I had a change of heart. The tenor of the show is all wrong!..."
Trevor: "You told me- I was following directions! I was a good actor."

James: "You would hear a burping cat inside your vent."
Trevor: "Nobody wants that!"

James: "There is no way that the kid could fit inside my vent, so I eliminated him as a suspect at that point."

James: "Anyway, if there is a moral to this story, it is: don't listen to this show anymore."

James: "'I'm selling my family, I'm selling your family, I'm selling everything.'"

101 - The Giant Meatball

archive1 — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 00:14:16 CDT

Date Released:
March 23rd, 2009

Host(s):
James & Trevor

Opening Stinger:
James thinks that he's doing Geek Loves Nerd.

"For all you easily offended people, your momma's fat!"

Opening Story:
"Someone really cool" lives in Egypt. It was really cool, until a creepy mugger showed up.

Weekly Update(s):
James heard horrible things through the wall of his office, which is next to a bathroom. He and his wife have decided if you like anything, you must put a ring on it.

Trevor's younger daughter took her first steps today. His older daughter has now adopted "fail" into her vocabulary.

LBB:
Connie (aka Conzo) nominates the guy who shouted about a coffee cup. James widens the recommendation to include everybody who tries to sue corporations over trivial things.

News:
Check out NLCast.com for comics, blog posts, and forums.

Visit GeekLovesNerd.com for a podcast about marriage stuff.

Visit CMMonthly.com for a show about children's ministry.

As always, head on over to DrawYouAPicture.com for drawings by James.

Middle School Drama:

Fred was volunteering at a church camp, and was having a discussion about 'right' and 'wrong'. Somehow, these kids had a deep understanding of copyright law.

Emma has a band story about a flute vs. a saxophone and a trombone.

Featured Story:
Trevor takes the floor and shares some stories from the time he spent working at "the giant meatball". A prank causes an inspection to go awry. A guy who wasn't supposed to be at work was still there.

E & V-Mail:
Matt had a swing set when he was young. He enjoyed performing tricks on the swings.

Paul Fox is in Hong Kong. He always has flashbacks to theater when James mentions Middle School Drama.

Charlie went shopping with his aunt when he was little.

Sam G. has a story about his dad, who thinks he can speak foreign languages.

ComedyRotten played basketball with a home-school team. One girl had an adverse reaction to a rose.

Mike (aka KickofMercy) suggests a "lamest story" theme show.

TheRealMcCoy congratulates the show on 100 episodes. He listens to the show when he does math.

Alana (aka AwwBaby) was in Alabama on spring break. A case of "mistaken bathroom" occurred.

Memorable Moments:
Trevor: "I was just wondering, am I the only one that dances during our opening theme music?"

James: "I used to be the 'forums mom', but I was the bearded lady, and it just didn't work out."

James: "GO TO WASHINGTON D.C. AND PASS SOME LAWS!"
Trevor: "CHANGE THE CONSTITUTION!"

James: "I can't wait to meet you in real life and push you down in the snow."

James and Trevor argue about the vulgarity of a word.

James: "I'm pushing all the buttons on the elevator, so it'll be unavailable for a while! I will have my revenge!"
Trevor: "You are slightly inconvenienced by my actions!"

100 - The One I Won

archive1 — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:33:36 CDT

Date Released:
March 16th, 2009

Host(s):
James & Trevor

Opening Stinger:
Someone apparently dialed a wrong number.

Aaron from Missouri wishes the show congratulations.

Brad (aka Scooter) is going to be a father.

Opening Story:
A listener lives in Tennessee. There are many college football fans there; her boss is one of them. Someone made a birthday card for him that was misinterpreted.

Weekly Update(s):
Trevor has a "Sham Wow" update about his failure as a parent. His daughter has been brainwashed by an infomercial.

James's daughter Jenna had an awesome moment with a family friend.

LBB:
Daniel nominates the babysitter who made his little sister cry.

Adam (aka ImNotHere) developed a large rash on his leg. His mother made up a horrible disease to tease him.

News:
There is a new Bonus Page up at NLCast.com, which has a ringtone, wallpapers, and more.

NLCast stickers are being sent to everyone who has an email or a voicemail featured on this episode.(Continental U.S. and Canada)

Special Thanks to the following people:

archive1 for helping build the wiki

Scott Johnson for his support and help

Koreo and Dean for their regular support of the show

Rob Gobers for the show's theme song

DofN for paying for the sound effects software

All of the listeners who have supported the show and sent in their stories

Previous guest hosts for their great contributions to the show

David for making the show so much fun to do

James's wife and family for all of their support

Trevor, for being a great host on the show

James, for inviting Trevor to join the show and make people laugh

God, for everything

Middle School Drama:
Adam went down to the lake for a barbecue. He decided to play catch with a can of bug spray.

Jesse's story starts in Chuck.E.Cheese's, the "worst place in the entire earth".

Featured Story:
James tells the story that explains why he doesn't fight. He was in band, and he didn't like some guy. James decided to unleash upper-classman fury upon him. A few years later, he encountered the ex-boyfriend of a girl he liked. All of these stories are merely the buildup to the greatest fight James was ever in.

E & V-Mail:
Siouxzeequeue's daughter was watching her make meatloaf. The daughter realized that it was cow, and that she liked it.

Connie from Ohio was taking home economics in eighth grade. She decided to eat some "bright pink sprinkle stuff".

Len Peralta calls in to congratulate James on 100 shows.

Joe Thomas sends in a mash-up of previous episodes.

Vlaine(sp?) from Slovenia has a story about his grandfather showing his father how to operate a tear gas gun.

Rashida from the Caribbean congratulates the show for reaching the 100-episode mark.

Dan (aka DoctorLouie) has a story about a former girl who was trying to learn English.

FishandChips sends in a story about a poor joke made in a church. There is also a story about a lock-in and band class.

A listener's parents moved to Japan, and they had a bad interpreter.

Tom from Utah went golfing one day, and stopped to eat some hot dogs for lunch.

Brett has a story about eating at a Mexican restaurant on his birthday.

Matt sent in a "phrase mash-up" in honor of the 100th show.

Jennifer Kennison from Geek Loves Nerd calls in to congratulate them.

Eric from WBRShow.com has a couple of words for the 100th show.

JoJo (LadyAeowyn(sp?)) and Luke call in with a story about throwing around magnetic darts.

Lauren Mack was at work, and a lady called in at an inappropriate time.

DoctorLouie calls in to congratulate the show. He proceeds to say "Nobody's Listening" a lot.

Kenneth (aka Hirashi) calls in to declare himself as an LBB.

Daniel (aka ConcertPianist17) calls in to congratulate the show and announce that this coming Thursday, he will have been listening to the podcast for one year.

Kimball(?) from Arizona calls in to congratulate the show, and shares a tale from high school about asking a girl out to a dance and almost hitting a car.

TheRealMcCoy calls in to congratulate the show.

Memorable Moments:
James: "You've been there for me the whole way, Trevor."
Trevor: "Well, part of the way, at least."
James: "Twenty percent of the way."
Trevor: "Thank-you for remembering."

James: "Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy you two podcast friends."

Trevor: "You see, therein is your fallacy, because...they would have probably apologized for getting in the way of you stone."
...James: "You have to throw two stones, one of them in French."

James: "They don't make enough gigs for the JPEG I need!"

James suddenly realizes that a nickname the trumpet section had for the flag girls in band wasn't very appropriate.

James: "We were dating, and we used to date in the South- part of the country, mostly because we live down there-"
Trevor: "Which is convenient."

James: "I don't care if the Terminator came out of that truck, I was gonna eat 'em. I was gonna zap 'em with laser beams from my ears."